Waddup? You guys and gals remember that movie Star wars? Oh I do… I am a fan of those films… Remember when in Phantom Menace there was Darth maul? Well I now know what happened to him when he got Pwndbiwan Kenobi and I will esplain.
Ok so Insidious is a “horror” film that may scare my 4 year old… but thaaats about it. The plot seems to be about a family who is being haunted by spirits/daemons but only after their kid falls while playing without parental supervision in a creepy attic (parents of the year right there) Kid is in a coma and mom keeps seeing not so creepy ghosts that are not so creepy. (yup redundant redundancy) Mom decides that they need to move cause apparently this would solve the issue. Yea. It didn’t (HOLY CRAP I USED A’ …ok it happened we will never speak of it again.)
Anyway back on topic. So Darth Maul decides he wants to break back into the people werld… (a little late Maul… That was long ago in a galaxy far far away… gawd) and he is going to use this kid as a gateway.
Ok. There have been many names for that between death and life… Here are my faves.
The Fade and The Viel. But yes there have been many o names for this lovely place between the two worlds. In this movie however it is called the Further… Really? Thats all you got? So the worst parents ever decide to fight said daemon cause hes holding the kid in the further… so they have to go…further into the further…sigh. ( I know… but it had to be done) Oh cue the dads mom to tell him that he had the same issues when HE was young. Well I see that great parenting runs in this fam for sure.
Dad goes and fights Maul into the …further. Ya know…. People will be like “well this guy that’s not darth maul hes got gold claws n stuff” my answer to that? afterlife bling! And I mean he lost his sweet light saber so whats yer point? Well ThisGuy he does not use the force!” Yea he does he tosses people all sorts of different ways and into stuff. “But ThisGuy hes got hoofs and goat legs” Umm YEA he did get cut in half! It may have been a quick patch job or perhaps the Maul loved the goats (wink)… we will never know. It appears I may have wandered of topic a bit again…
Ok the sound in this movie is standard horror movie affair. Loud piano sounds at parts where you are to jump… ok if ThisGuy didnt jump I dont think you will either. The acting was not bad but most of dialogue fell short of making me feel anything for any of these horrible parents or their kids. But it was kinda cool to see Darth Maul again.
On the box it said the scariest movie since the Exorcist… which to me wasnt scary anyway… nor was this… take it as a how not to be a parent film with bonus sith! (now with goat legs!) or make a drinking game out of how many times the youngest kid starts crying… perhaps then you wont have to remember this mess of a film.
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