ThisGuy Reviews: Resident Evil Afterlife 3D

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ThisGuy!

This Guy Reviews: Resident Evil Afterlife 3D. Now with more spoilers!

This Guy LOVES all things Resident evil. I freakin swear if there was a cereal like umbrella corp crispies? Yea they would be in This Guys pantry. Resident evilie -OHS? best believe it I would be om nom noming right at my key board as I type. This movie gave me a mixed bag of things… most of which I would have returned like a bad videogame (Resident Evil Dead Aim)…I’m juss sayin.

Ok so I don’t want this to shock you at all but! This was my first 3D movie and I was more then happy to share this moment with Milla. I mean I have known her for a while and I felt safe and I was pretty sure she wasn’t going to go brag to her friends about it. *COUGH*… right then…lets get reviewin shall we?

So I liked this movie I mean there was a HUGE emphasis on showing off the 3D tech or as I am going to call it for the remainder of this review Milla Vision! The tech is nice for depth and a nice splatter or 2 but the best part for real was the smoke/clouds passing by. This gave the film a you are there kinda feel…Kinda. So yea the 3D was neat but correct me if I am wrong I find it blurry at times so if the trade off is clarity for visual tricks I will take clarity every time. I mean come on there is nothing like watching a movie sober but getting the blurr of a having drank a large number of shots before going into the theatre. I was with someone who said this is because we were sitting to low but seeing as how this was my first 3D movie I can not confirm OR deny this comment.

Resident evil movies have always been kinda over the top action and this instalment is no different. See when I storm a Umbrella Corp headquarters with a number of my fellow clones the last thing I would do is send all of them? I was confused because in the last R.E. movie (Non Milla Vision) there was this massive army of clones and they were coming to get the bad guys! I was all “awww yeaaa next one will be wikkid” Then at the start of Afterlife all of em get blown away in the first 5 mins? I am only assuming ALL of them were gone because they were not seen for the rest of the movie. Well I guess I can forgive that.

See, I have always had an issue with the loosely based on the game series aspect of this film series. It seemed to have worked with the first 3 but if anyone has played Resident evil 5 then ya know all about Jill Valentine and how she was turned bad but Jill was in the Second resident evil movie and was a short dark haired woman who shot lots o baddies. In Resident Evil 5 Jill is a long haired Blond… hmmm if u waited after the credits a bit she was on one of the Heli’s that were going after the boat.. Issue here is that there was NO mention of Chris and Jills relationship in Afterlife but in Resident evil 5 Chris is all sad and emo about loosing Jill in a fight with Wesker…. siiiiiiigh but I digress.

One thing I will say is that they got Weskers shades and suit correct they coulda taken the suit straight outta the game and BAM its the same one as the movie… I hear a lot of folks saying they turned this movie into the Matrix… guess what kiddies? Bullet time changed the way people make movies how else are they going to show off his speed? MORE slow motion? Please, this movie had way to much as it is. Wesker looks like he did in RE5 almost perfectly so they did a good job on that front BUT I still don’t like how they will pick and choose what elements to put in the movies from the games. Like the big AX/Hammer wielding guy COOL! but wait… oh he got owned with a shotgun… Not Just a Shotgun but… a shotgun that shoots quarters…. See the is another thing that bothered me… I AM JUST GOING TO PUT ALL THIS LOOSE CHANGE INTO MY GUN AND HOLD IT UPSIDE DOWN SO (anywhere else) ALL THE FREAKIN QUARTERS WILL FALL OUT THE BARRELL….but you see Alice’s is has apparently drank to much magnetic awesomesauce to have that happen to her…. and instead it BLOWS HIS FREAKIN HEAD OFF! (that was prolly the best Milla vision part of the movie) I am trying to fight the resident evil fanboy inside me cause anyone that played the games knows alllll about the burlap sack headed guys…. a shotgun with quarters just wouldn’t do it. but a rocket launcher that shoots CHAINSAWS would (this is not in any game or movie but I really want one to be real)

Alright all things aside… take the movie for what it is and it was a pretty good watch. I enjoyed it but am left with the thought if you strip away the 3D and the Slow motion you really don’t have much (cept Mila…which aint bad at all) The action in the movie was great, there was some parts that made me jump and what it lacked in plot it made up for in Milla vision and great visuals.

ThisGuy Says: Watch it for Milla enjoy it while it’s in 3D because I don’t think it will be that great of a watch without all the visual Milla vision affects. Eff this I’m stoked for Tron.

And where was this guy? I saw him on teh poster!

Resident Evil Afterlife

Disclaimer: Eye Crave Network takes no responsibility for the quality, content or opinions contained within this article. The opinions and misguided notions contained are those of the author and do not represent anyone but “THIS GUY”…

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